Friday, May 17, 2013

Zombies, Lepre-trolls and Snoopy-cabras

There are all kinds of magical creatures. Some are awesome, like vampires and fairies. Some are not so awesome, like werewolves and zombies. There are some, though, that it really depends on what mood they are in whether they are awesome or not. For example, Death. I don't mean hooded-scary-dude-with-a-sharp-ass-scythe-breathing-Dementor-breath-down-your-neck Death. I mean "Meet Joe Black" Death. Or Sprites. They are deceptively cute but play terrible pranks.

Or Lepretrolls. What are Lepretrolls, you ask? Well, they are the happy-ish things that live under my bed. Ordinarily they are quiet, unobtrusive tiny trolls that don't bother anyone. They are content to spend their days hording mismatched socks and the ONE stuffed animal my kid just NEEDS but can't find. Chances are, if you are missing things you have Lepretrolls, too.

Anyway, they generally keep to themselves and don't make a nuisance of themselves. Until nighttime. Then, by golly, you'd better watch out. You can't leave anything hanging over the side of the bed or they. will. bite. you. Be it hand, foot, or head. When the lights go out and the house gets quiet, that's when they get ready to spring into action.

Ok. So, the CDC, the Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta, has an emergency preparedness kit that they think we all need. Let me preface this by saying this is the same CDC that is government funded. So basically, our tax dollars at work, people. What kind of kit, you may be asking? Well, I'm here to tell you.... It's a freaking ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE KIT. From the CDC! Really??!! Don't believe me? Well, naysayers, follow this link.

They say if you are prepared for when (not if) zombies attack you will be prepared for tornadoes, hurricanes, etc. And I totally get that. But zombies? Really?? The freaking IRS is being investigated and yet the government still has time *and resources* to put together zombie survival kits? Am I the only one that sees something very, very wrong with this?

*Side note: I have a terrible time sleeping when the husband is out of town. A couple of weeks ago I had awful zombie nightmares. (I know, it couldn't possibly have anything to do with watching a Walking Dead marathon. And a Resident Evil marathon.) Anyway, in our bedroom we have attic access above a built in bookshelf. So, I put together a "go" bag for me, the hubs and the kid. It just has a change of clothes, toothbrushes, flashlight, a couple of bottles of water and a Big Frickin' Knife. And I've already decided that Oscar (my cute little doggy) would probably bark and give away our location so I will have to kill him before we climb up and hide. I guess breaking his neck would be the quickest and most humane way.

Ummm..... okay. Reading this now, I believe I *may* have put a little too much thought into this whole thing. But then again, I probably won't get eaten by zombies, either.

As for Snoopy-cabras, you can check out the story here.


  1. You're right, you probably won't get eaten by zombies...but worrying about it does help. LOL thanks for linking up with us!

  2. I totally get the whole preparing for the zombies thing; I even had a paid gig to write about toddlers and the apocalypse. :) I think I might be at 5ish posts on that very topic. LOL But this Lepratrolls...they sound like little nightmares waiting to happen.

    Thank you for linking up with the Humor Me! Blog Hop! It's been a joy!