Monday, August 26, 2013

There I Was, Just Minding My Own Business.....

...having my dreams of Adam Levine and peanut butter PopTarts, when BAM! Out of the blue <insert horribly disgusting sounds of kid barfing>. I know there is nothing I love more than being woken from a dead sleep to puke in my bed. Except maybe going around again on the vomit comet 30 minutes later after the sheets have been changed and everyone settled back down. So, yeah. Starting off the day at 4 a.m. to a sick kid isn't great. But you know what's even less great? Starting off the day before school starts with vomit. We are supposed to go register for 1st grade and meet her teacher at 4 p.m. today. I seriously hope she's feeling better by then.

OH! And THEN you know what happened? An hour or so after the last visit from "The Exorcist" (ya know. The whole projectile vomiting thing? Anyway..) guess who else starts to feel a rumbly in their tummy? If you said me, then you're right. You win eleventy bajillion dollars. The check's in the mail...

So, here I am. Five-o-freakin'-clock in the morning. My last day to "sleep in" until 7 a.m. and I've been up almost 2 hours already. Maddie is settled in snugly beside her daddy sound asleep. And me? Well, the tummy is still rumbly and there are some urgent issues there, but no vomit.


Wednesday, August 21, 2013

An OMG-Life-Revelations Moment Due To A Kid-Free Weekend

Last weekend the hubs had to shoot pictures in Memphis. Since he was going to have to leave before I got home from work ,we let Maddie stay Thursday night with my mom. I picked her up after work on Friday. I then had the brilliant idea to go see my grandmother and then take my 14 year old twin boys out to eat. Maddie stayed with Grandmother while the guys and I went and ate Mexican. Afterward, I hung out at Grandmother's house for about an hour. I was gathering up my stuff (and Maddie's stuff that she has a tendency to leave in a trail all over the house) getting ready to head back home when Maddie asked if she could stay the night with Grandmother. Ummm..... Hellz yeah! Terry out of town and Maddie with Grandmother?! Party time, suckas! Me....home alone....with only the dog (who sleeps like all. the. time.) for a whole night?? Sign me up. I couldn't get out of there fast enough. So around 9:30 Friday night I headed home. Alone. Just me. I was able to roll down all the windows and jack up the tunes for the first time in.... I don't even know how long. I was essentially footloose and fancy free for a whole night. What to do, what to do... I couldn't think of a damn thing so I just went home. BUT, I was able to watch a whole movie without having to pause it to get her something to eat. Or something to drink. Or watch while she did an interpretive dance of the butterfly. Or whatever. Did you hear that?! I didn't have to get up One. Single. Time. I plopped my ever-widening ass down in my recliner and I veg-ed. I watched some TV, played on the computer, and basically had myself a really good "me" time. The next time I looked up, it was 5 in the morning. Yup. I had stayed up all night doing my thang.

Surprisingly, I wasn't tired at all so I got some other stuff done Saturday morning and afternoon. When I called to find out what time I should go get Maddie, she informed me she was staying another night. WHAT?! I thought I must be delirious from lack of shut-eye, but no, I heard correctly. My brain was going, "WTF? Two whole days with no husband and no kid?? S.C.O.R.E!". (Yeah, I know, my brain's kind of a selfish bitch.) So with nothing on my to-do list and nowhere I had to be, I proceeded to have another 24 hours of "me" time. Really it was the same tune, just a different verse. More TV, movies on Netflix and gaming on the computer. I didn't even get out of my pajamas all day Saturday!! I was completely and utterly self indulgent. The best part? I didn't even feel guilty about it. (Ok, ok. I *may* have felt a smidgen of guilt. But I squashed it like a bug.)

What, you may be asking, were my big life revelations? Well, let me tell you.

     1. My ass is too heavy and my bones too old to sit/lay in a recliner for 36 hours straight.

     2. I eat like a teenager when there isn't anyone else here for me to feed. (For breakfast Saturday morning, I ate a s'more. A graham cracker, a little Hershey bar and a microwaved marshmallow. It was yummy!)

     3. Facebook games (ie: Candy Crush, Farm Heroes Saga, Papa Pear, etc.) will suck you in. Seriously. I really believe they are rigged so that you lose a couple of lives but then you win and move on until your lives replenish. I may or may not have played Candy Crush for more than 2 hours. Straight.

So after a purely decadent weekend, Sunday dawned. I took a (much needed) shower, put on makeup and got dressed. An added bonus of having Maddie stay with Grandmother is that she (Grandmother, not Maddie) cooks a huge meal on Sunday afternoons. I had a wonderful lunch to top off my grand alone-but-not-lonely weekend. After a round of hugs and goodbyes I finally wrangled her (Maddie, not Grandmother) and all her junk to the car. I thought for sure we'd have a really good day since we hadn't been in each others' pockets and on each others' nerves all weekend. Well, I was wrong. Not just wrong, but WRONG. She apparently became possessed by the grouchiest of demons while she was away. Geez she was hateful. At one point Sunday evening I had to send her to her room to keep from killing her. After a peaceful and quiet couple of days boy was I ever paying for it now.

Was it worth it? I wondered to myself. Yep, because she was so tired from playing all weekend that she was in bed by 9:00. And, of course, I wasn't too far behind her considering the last time I slept was a fitful 4 hours Thursday night.