Wednesday, March 5, 2014

This Post Pretty Much Wrote Itself

I just got home from the dentist. I had a couple of cavities filled. I was supposed to have three done, but instead, I got two filled and one temporary filling. When she got into that third one, she realized it was way deeper than she thought. I wouldn't have minded if she'd went ahead and filled it, though. Because of two little words.

Nitrous. Oxide.

Here's a rundown of my thoughts while high on laughing gas. (Which, by the way, didn't make me want to laugh at all.)

-I wonder if I should tweet about this?
-OMG. I wasn't paying attention. Did she say to close or NOT close my mouth?
-Do I look like a dying fish with my mouth hanging open like this?
-I've never seen "How I Met Your Mother"
-Ooooooooh, Maroon 5 is on the radio. Maybe I'll drift off into sex with Adam Levine dreams.... (No such luck, though. Bummer.)
-My feet feel like they're floating...
-Why is the upper half of my body still but my legs are doing the hula hoop in opposite directions?
-I should get a manicure. I bet they're looking at my gnarly fingers and thinking the same thing.
-I want a pet opossum. I'll call him Petey and I'll love him forever. Or until he bites me.
-Did she just tell the assistant to crank it up to make me MORE comfortable?!
-Was that my phone? Shit. I thought I silenced it. (side note: I didn't silence it, but I'm not popular anyway so I was just hearing things. The phone didn't actually ring.)
-I should have eaten more than just Lucky Charms...
-Man. Each sound I hear has a different color. And I can feel them bumping against me.
-Maybe they should turn this shit down a litte.... Nah.

And then I was done. For the time being, anyway. I have to go back next week to get the other
filling(s). And yes, I'm boarding the Nitrous train again then, too.

My final thought as I was coming out of my gas-induced stupor was:
            My mouth may hurt, but at least my toes look smashing!!

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