Sunday, March 23, 2014

Who Moved My Bliss?

Conversation I had with myself at 3:20 this morning:

Wow. How did I end up like this? I have no passion. For anything. I can't recall that I ever did. I wish... I don't know what I wish. I remember when I was about eight years old. That was the one and only time I ever saw a shooting star. I can't remember what I wished for, but I do remember squeezing my eyes shut tight and wishing with all the power of my eight year old self possessed. I can't ever remember being passionate about anything, even as a child. I was born middle aged. I had toys, sure, but I didn't play with them. I just organized shit. Sorted and labeled and bagged it all up. Why am I so.... lukewarm? I watch shows like The Voice or America's Got Talent and see these kids, basically, that just know what they want to do. Hell, I'm looking down the barrel of 40 and I have no flippin' clue what I want to be when I grow up. I really don't want to grow up. I am jealous of those who go their whole life pursuing one goal, one dream, one passion. What is my passion? How does one go about finding their passion? Seriously. How do I find that? I've had interests, sure. Hobbies, even. But a passion? A dream? A personal "bliss"? Nope. Nada. This realization kinda makes me sad. If I could go back and talk to my eight year old self, I don't even know what I would say to her. "Sorry, but you're gonna flounder through life. Good luck with that." Somehow, I don't think that would work out too well. So, am I in the minority? Do most people have passion about something and I am just more out of whack than I originally thought? Or am I like the majority and there are fewer people that just know what they want out of life? I often wonder how my life would have turned out if I had made different choices in life. I know everyone does the "what-if" game and it really serves no purpose, really. Even doing the "what-if" game, I can't figure out where I would be or what I would be doing.

Looking back now, I may have told my eight-year old self to play more. Just be a kid and stop worrying about EVERYthing. Or I might have told her to invest in Apple and don't worry about it. Oh, well. "What-if"s aren't going to get the dishes washed.....

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

This Post Pretty Much Wrote Itself

I just got home from the dentist. I had a couple of cavities filled. I was supposed to have three done, but instead, I got two filled and one temporary filling. When she got into that third one, she realized it was way deeper than she thought. I wouldn't have minded if she'd went ahead and filled it, though. Because of two little words.

Nitrous. Oxide.

Here's a rundown of my thoughts while high on laughing gas. (Which, by the way, didn't make me want to laugh at all.)

-I wonder if I should tweet about this?
-OMG. I wasn't paying attention. Did she say to close or NOT close my mouth?
-Do I look like a dying fish with my mouth hanging open like this?
-I've never seen "How I Met Your Mother"
-Ooooooooh, Maroon 5 is on the radio. Maybe I'll drift off into sex with Adam Levine dreams.... (No such luck, though. Bummer.)
-My feet feel like they're floating...
-Why is the upper half of my body still but my legs are doing the hula hoop in opposite directions?
-I should get a manicure. I bet they're looking at my gnarly fingers and thinking the same thing.
-I want a pet opossum. I'll call him Petey and I'll love him forever. Or until he bites me.
-Did she just tell the assistant to crank it up to make me MORE comfortable?!
-Was that my phone? Shit. I thought I silenced it. (side note: I didn't silence it, but I'm not popular anyway so I was just hearing things. The phone didn't actually ring.)
-I should have eaten more than just Lucky Charms...
-Man. Each sound I hear has a different color. And I can feel them bumping against me.
-Maybe they should turn this shit down a litte.... Nah.

And then I was done. For the time being, anyway. I have to go back next week to get the other
filling(s). And yes, I'm boarding the Nitrous train again then, too.

My final thought as I was coming out of my gas-induced stupor was:
            My mouth may hurt, but at least my toes look smashing!!

Friday, February 28, 2014

What The Hell Did I Get Myself Into?!

We arrived in Texas on December 29th. The ride from Georgia only took 16 hours and was super comfortable, seeing as how the three of us were smooshed together on a bench seat in the U-haul. Also, Maddie was an awesome traveler and didn't whine OR get bored with all the shit I packed her to play with. And then we lived happily ever after. (My sarcasm font is broken.)
Yeaaaaaaaah, not so much. The ride was ass-numbingly long. We were crammed into about a 4x2 foot space, with Terry driving, Maddie in the middle and me hugging the passenger door. Along with the three of us, I packed a bag of stuff to keep her entertained. She took each thing out and played with it approximately 4 minutes before handing it off to me to switch for something else. Before we had even crossed into the Central time zone, she was done with all her stuff.

A couple of weeks prior to moving, I bought her one of those $20 Seat-Pet things. You know, it's kinda like a stuffed animal but you attach it to the seat belt and it serves as a pillow. Well, that was a total waste of money. Out of 16 hours, she only slept about 45 minutes. All I can say is thank God for iPods! There were enough apps on there to keep her (marginally) entertained and off my nerves.

So there we were, just bumping along, headed a thousand miles away from everyone and everything we knew. I had to keep reminding myself to look at it as an adventure. Otherwise, I probably would have had a nervous breakdown. We had to stop several times to pee, get gas and just stretch our legs. Maddie continued on her quest to visit every public bathroom we come within a mile of. I tried to tune her out so we didn't fuss at each other. I'm glad my mom let us use her iPod for Maddie to play on. I have one, too, but it's older and doesn't have the apps. I listened to a ton of music, though. Imagine Dragons is my favorite right now. I'm pretty sure they kept me from totally losing my shit. Them and Maroon 5.

Anyway, when we finally crossed into Texas (although still several hours from Houston) we stopped at the first rest stop so we could take a picture. And pee. Again. The pictures aren't very good, but at this point we had been riding for about 13 hours.

You'll notice the giant star and the flag poles in the background. Apparently, Texans are super proud of their state. They are the only state that flies the state flag at the same height as the American flag.

Anyway, we took the pictures and then went to the bathroom in the rest stop. On the way up the ramp to the bathroom door, I noticed a sign off to the side. Mind you, we hadn't even seen the "Welcome To Texas" sign yet, as it is on the far side of the star and flagpoles. The sign read:
                                                WATCH OUT FOR SNAKES

WTF?? That's how Texas welcomes their newest inhabitants?! Before the "Welcome to your new home, we hope you like it here" sign was a warning about snakes. Then Terry, being ever so helpful added, "Yeah. And look out for aligators, too. The last time I was here there were three under this deck up by the fence." I'm sure my mouth was wide open. I'm undecided if it was open to ask further about this wild new land I found myself in, or if it was just a silent scream.

Once we hopped back in the truck and headed out, we passed the "Welcom to Texas, Y'all" sign. All I could think was, "Someone in a government-y position should either move the welcome sign to the closer side or move the snake sign further away. No one should have to have their first encounter with Texas be a warning for snakes!"

The rest of the drive wasn't too bad. It was dark, of course, so we couldn't really see anything. Mountains were noticably absent, though. We passed this one oil refinery. It was all lit up. I thought it was a little city we were about to go through. It was as big as downtown Chattanooga and spanned out for miles on both sides of the highway! They probably have a tram like Disney World to get their employees from the parking lots to the factory.

So, after much excitement and numb tushies, we made it to Houston. We passed Bush Intercontinental Airport, which was H U M O N G O U S! Also, on the road we came in on, there is everything. Chain restaraunts, mom-and-pop places, clothing stores, big chain stores like Target, and strip malls lining both sides of the road. After about a mile, they repeated, just on the opposite side of the street. We passed 2 Wal Marts, 2 Targets, and I don't know how many other stores in the last 3 miles before home. My first impression with Houston was: "Ho-ly crap. I'm NEVER gonna find my way around here!"

We got to the apartment around 11 p.m., went straight to the air mattresses Terry had been sleeping on, and crashed. Maddie was so exhausted she snored. (She will deny this, but she is lying. I heard her.) The next morning we ventured out for breakfast and took a little tour. It was so much bigger in the daylight. (Adventures' blog post coming soon.)

We had scheduled some help to unload the truck, and they got there around lunch. Four guys unloaded all our stuff and hauled it up a flight and a half of stairs in like 22 minutes! They were super unloaders! And they didn't just throw the stuff anywhere. They put the furniture where it was going and everything! That was the best $200 we ever spent, according to Terry.

So..... I know this is kinda rambly and probably doesn't make a lot of sense, but that was our "adventure" moving to Texas. In my next posts I will tell you about the scenic tour, the beach, update on school, and other information you just can not live without. :)


Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Greetings From The (Transplanted) Crappiest Blogger Ever

Ok. So it's been like 3 months since I posted anything. It's not like life has been boring or anything. I'll give you a super short update and will do some more in depth posts later.

November: Terry was still in Texas. He came home for a couple of days at Thanksgiving. Life went on. We packed.

December: Spent most of the month packing and organizing crap to move. I threw stuff out like a mad woman. Terry came home a couple of days before Christmas. We didn't even put up a tree. Maddie and I made our tree. We took green tinsel and glued it down to posterboard. We then hot glued little ornaments on it. It was cute... in a kitchy, corny kind of way. She liked it, so that's all that really mattered. We did the family tour at Christmas and the month flew by really fast. A couple of days after Christmas we rented the U-haul and began the loading process. By the 28th we were loaded and ready to go. We spent that night at my in-laws'. Around 6 a.m. on the 29th, we got up, dressed, checked and double checked that we had everything. We were on our way to Texas by 7 a.m.

Tons of stuff happened between 7 a.m. on December 29th and today. I am going to try to compose my thoughts in an orderly manner and break up the posts so I don't have a 30 page post.

There will be drama, danger, and decongestants.
There will be snakes, school, and the seashore.
There will be... ok, ok. There's gonna be a lot of stuff. So, until next time (which won't be 3 months from now)...


Tuesday, November 5, 2013


Ok. So we all know I have bouts of insomnia. No big. I thought I might take a relaxing shower. I'm a *ahem* tad OCD so I shower in the same routine every time. I washed my hair, soaped up my pouf, began washing my bod. I went to wash my left leg, looked down...... And there was a big-ass spider CRAWLING. UP. MY. FREAKING. LEG. I squealed like a girl, threw down my pouf, and got the hell out of the shower. I don't know if I even rinsed off. Along with never sleeping again, I may never shower again.

Wonder where I can get some waterless soap and shampoo?

Also, I'm pretty much the shittiest blogger in the history of blogging. I know it's been like a month since I posted.... I promise to regale you with my "interesting" adventures in a couple of days. I'm trying to stay ahead of my class work.

Saturday, October 5, 2013

This Will Be The Most Rambling And Convoluted Post Ever So Feel Free To Skip It If You Want To (But I Wouldn't)

Wow. What a ca-razy several weeks! Lemme see if I can recap without boring your brain or losing your attention.

So it's been a month since I posted. Well, let me tell you, I feel plenty guilty about that, but apparently not guilty enough to do anything about it before now. As you may or may not know, we are moving to Houston closer to the end of the year. It seems.... real now, somehow. But first....

Around September 11th I started feeling that wonky feeling. You know the one you get in the back of your throat when you are about to get sick? Yeah, that one. Anyway, that evening I started feeling bad. By the weekend I felt like crap. Not just regular crap, either. The kind of crap that was stepped in, scraped off and stepped in again. I just HAD to start feeling better, though. Monday the 16th was going to be a special day. I had a VIP seat to see the luscious and yummy Adam Levine (and the rest of those Maroon 5 guys) in Atlanta. I had gotten the ticket ($300!!) in May. It was a Mother's Day/birthday/Christmas present from the hubs. I had been counting down for months! Monday rolled around and I couldn't even muster the energy to take a shower much less ride over 2 hours and then sit through about a 4 hour long concert. My ticket was wasted. I cried and cried. There went my chance to be Adam's love slave. Oh, well. I figure after the new wore off I'd be bored anyway...

So, here it is the 16th and I still feel funky as ever. After missing work the previous Thursday and Friday, I skipped work today, too. I got a doctor appointment for Wednesday. Oh, and did I mention I had broken out in some weird boils/pox/blisters? No? Hmmm... Well, I did. All over my face, back and chest. I looked like I had leprosy. It was worse than chicken pox because these suckers were almost open wounds and they H-U-R-T.

Wednesday rolls around and I head to the doctor. She thinks it's a viral infection and loads me up with an antibiotic, an antiviral, some low grade pain meds and a goo to put on the boils. I thought for sure I'd start feeling better soon....

Bahahahahahaha! (That's Life, laughing at me.) By now it's Thursday the 19th. Happy frickin' birthday to me. I wake up to my wrists, fingers, hips, knees, ankles and toes stiff. Also, my feet are so swollen I couldn't even get my flip flop between my toes. Needless to say it was hard to get around for several days.

By the beginning of the next week my feet, particularly my left, was still so swollen. At one point my poor toes were turning blue. I ended up going to the emergency room. After a perfunctory exam and a chest x-ray they declared yes, it was viral. Oh, and we don't treat viruses. So basically I hung out at the hospital for hours only to be told to go home. I ended up stopping the previous medication, and when I did, the swelling went down. Finally!

So that brings us up to this week. Terry left Tuesday for Texas. (Say that 3 times fast!) He won't be back until Thanksgiving. This will be the longest we've spent apart in about 13 years. Monday night Maddie was distraught. She really didn't have any idea about exactly how long it would be before she saw her Daddy again. But, like the brave little trooper she is, she got up Tuesday morning and got on the bus dry-eyed. She and I had a good snuggle and cry that night, though.

Wednesday I began my temporary journey as a single parent. If this week is any indication, I'm pretty much gonna suck at it. It will either make mine and Maddie's relationship stronger or one of us will kill the other. It will also either make me more responsible, or I may just give in and give up all together (not really).

Now you're up to date. She has been doing well in school. Well, better since Miss Smith had a come-to-Jesus talk with a couple of bratty boys who were teasing and tormenting her. I've been doing well in school, too. Well.... except I'm pretty sure my Criminal Justice professor is a hard-ass and I'm gonna fail his stupid class. Other than that, though...

So here it is a beautiful Saturday. I alternate between piddling on the computer and packing some of our nonessential stuff. I'm out of boxes, though, so I may have to make a run to the liquor store.


But.... since I'll already be there.............

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

The One In Which I Pack Up All Our Stuff And Haul It To.......


Yee haw, y'all. I'm gonna be a real cowgirl. Probably not, but I will have to adapt. It is official. Today, Terry accepted the Photographic Manager position that he flew out to interview for last week. We're moving to Houston.

Know anything about Houston? Lemme just tell ya.

1. It's hot. And nooooo not a dry heat either. Houston is only about 70 miles from the Gulf, so it's just as frickin' humid there as it is here.

2. Nothing but dirt and cowboys grow in Texas. I guess no garden next year.

3. It's the 4th largest city in all of the US. Which, I assume, means it's really, really crowded.

4. They have three bypasses. THREE.

5. Their highways are toll roads.

6.It is almost a thousand miles away from all that I know.

7. Drive time will be about 12 hours. That's practically a whole day. Yeah, I'm looking forward to spending 12 hours listening to Maddie ask "Are we there yet?".

8. (This one probably should have been on up the list, but it's not a list of priorities, people. Geez. Stop judging. I'm having a moment here.) Terry will be leaving to head out there at the end of the month. Which means.... I'll basically be a single parent. For almost three months. To a small, stubborn(er), teenaged attituded up me.

9. I don't know anyone in Texas. Except maybe George Bush. And I know Jenny (aka The Bloggess) lives somewhere in Texas. Maybe one of them will invite me over so I can know someone besides Terry and Maddie in the whole freaking state.

10. (This one is totally selfish and makes me a horrible person and generally crappy mom) When Maddie gets on my last nerve, and she will (probably before the end of the first week), I don't have any unsuspecting grandparents to pawn her off on.

Finally, after all that, just the logistics of the whole thing makes me want to hyperventilate and hide in a dark closet with my pillow. Living arrangements, car, school, utilities, familiarizing myself with the surroundings. That's one of the big ones. My sense of direction is..... we'll say "lacking". As in, lacking thereof. I purdy much a'int got nary'n. (I'm trying to learn the language. I may be terrified, but that's no reason to slack off...)

Plus, I don't know if the state can handle my awesomeness. Especially with the aforementioned people I know in the same state. I mean, really. I come fully equipped with quick wit, snark and general badassery.

Oh, OH! AND I don't even own a cowboy hat. Or cowboy boots, for that matter. Ooooooohhhhh.... maybe this means I can go buy some! I haven't been shoe shopping in ages. Well, unless you count getting Maddie's school shoes, and since I didn't get anything I totally do NOT count it.

Seriously, though. I feel like the night before school starts. I wonder if I will make any friends. I wonder if they'll like me. I worry that Maddie will hate the new school we put her in. I worry if they'll be mean to her. What if we get out there and something happens? We can't just hop in the car and come back "home". And we damn sure don't have the cash to spend on plane tickets. I know I'm probably over analyzing everything, but I have OCD and I am strongly anti-change.

Ohmigod, y'all. I just realized something. Houston isn't far from the gulf. Where there are sharks. Texas is in tornado alley. Where there are tornadoes.

Get where I'm going with that?? Just my luck and we'll get a mother honkin' SHARKNADO! Which might be entertaining, as long as I stay inside.

For real, though. As much whining, bitching and moaning I've done, and the lots more that I still have to do before we leave, I have absolute faith in my husband. I know deep down this is what he needs and what is best for our family. Everything has fallen into place too easily for this not to be thIe right thing.

So. It won't be too long before I will be an official Houstonite. Wait. Houstonian? Houstoner? Whatever. I'm sure they'll let me know when they initiate me into the state.

P.S. Keep this on the down low, 'kay? We haven't told Maddie yet. Or most of our family. So, shhhhhhhhhh.

P.P.S. Just so you'll know how neurotic I am....

*When this move was initially proposed, I did what anyone would do. I Googled Houston. One of the sites had stats and stuff (read: boring, so I didn't read it) and one thing it mentioned was that Houston was in Harris County. My mind frantically started thinking of where I had heard that. Oh. My. God. That's where Leatherface is from!! Ho-ly crap! We're gonna move there and be murdered in our sleep. So I Google mapped and realized Leatherface lives in TRAVIS County. Whew. What a relief! Oh, but wait. NOW I remember when I've heard Harris County before. They film "The First 48" in Harris County Texas. For those of you who don't know what "The First 48" is, well, it's a real-life-follow-detectives-around-to-try-to-catch-murderes TV show on A&E.

Well, hell. Looks like we'll be murdered after all.