Friday, July 12, 2013

But Wait! There's More!!!!

We all know those annoying infomercials. The ones hawking dumb ass products for 2 easy payments of $9.99. Things like:

Because who wouldn't want a donut on the back of their head?!

For all your pervy viewing needs.

Just because you put an "E" on the end of OLD
doesn't actually make it old.

For those who can't keep a real bird alive.

Yeah... Before this was created I just used the vacuum cleaner.





There are some stupid ass things out there. Granted, there are some pretty cool things, too. Maddie wants this and can recite the commercial (and thus all the reasons why she just has to have one) verbatim:



And this is actually on my wish list:

Goodbye, shaving!!
But between all the Snuggies and Pillow Pets (yeah, *that* was a great investment), I have run across a few things that are.... shall we say "wackadoodle". These things are beyond my comprehension. They are actual products. Someone pitched these ideas to someone who had more money than sense. Those bizarre-o ideas became tangible products where you, the highly discriminating consumer, can purchase and own one of your very own. Prepare to be stunned...


1. FUNDIES               

Photo courtesy of Amazon.com

     For around $10 you, too, can ensure a night of romance. Nothing says "togetherness" like two grown ass people crammed crotch-to-crotch in a pair of tighty whiteys.

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2. CUCHINI   
Photo courtesy of Amazon.com

Bra strap showing? Use the Bra Back Clip.
Embarrassing panty line? Wear Spanx or a thong.
Ohmigod! I have a CAMEL TOE and no one told me??!! Well, now there's a product for that. One word: EWWWWW.

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3. HAIRY LEGGINGS   
Photo courtesy of chinasmack.com

This is a real thing, y'all. It started, I think, in China as an anti-pervert device for women and girls. Personally, I think it would work wonderfully. Unless, of course, the pervert is in to monkeys. Or the burly lumberjack look. Then you're screwed.






*All "infomercial" products' photos are courtesy of AsSeenOnTV.com






















cuchini and hair leggings and fundies

2 comments:

  1. I laughed my ass off when I first saw that Polly infomercial... Then I just got really sad for people.

    You know what else is funny? Those hairy legs look like my sweet winter legs!!

    Hugs!

    Valerie

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    Replies
    1. It's hard to NOT feel sad for those unfortunate people who sit up at 4 am watching infomercials because they have insomnia and anxiety and their brains won't shut the hell up. Ahem , I mean.... I have no idea what you're talking about. :)

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