An OMG-Life-Revelations Moment Due To A Kid-Free Weekend

Last weekend the hubs had to shoot pictures in Memphis. Since he was going to have to leave before I got home from work ,we let Maddie stay Thursday night with my mom. I picked her up after work on Friday. I then had the brilliant idea to go see my grandmother and then take my 14 year old twin boys out to eat. Maddie stayed with Grandmother while the guys and I went and ate Mexican. Afterward, I hung out at Grandmother's house for about an hour. I was gathering up my stuff (and Maddie's stuff that she has a tendency to leave in a trail all over the house) getting ready to head back home when Maddie asked if she could stay the night with Grandmother. Ummm..... Hellz yeah! Terry out of town and Maddie with Grandmother?! Party time, suckas! Me....home alone....with only the dog (who sleeps like all. the. time.) for a whole night?? Sign me up. I couldn't get out of there fast enough. So around 9:30 Friday night I headed home. Alone. Just me. I was able to roll down all the windows and jack up the tunes for the first time in.... I don't even know how long. I was essentially footloose and fancy free for a whole night. What to do, what to do... I couldn't think of a damn thing so I just went home. BUT, I was able to watch a whole movie without having to pause it to get her something to eat. Or something to drink. Or watch while she did an interpretive dance of the butterfly. Or whatever. Did you hear that?! I didn't have to get up One. Single. Time. I plopped my ever-widening ass down in my recliner and I veg-ed. I watched some TV, played on the computer, and basically had myself a really good "me" time. The next time I looked up, it was 5 in the morning. Yup. I had stayed up all night doing my thang.

Surprisingly, I wasn't tired at all so I got some other stuff done Saturday morning and afternoon. When I called to find out what time I should go get Maddie, she informed me she was staying another night. WHAT?! I thought I must be delirious from lack of shut-eye, but no, I heard correctly. My brain was going, "WTF? Two whole days with no husband and no kid?? S.C.O.R.E!". (Yeah, I know, my brain's kind of a selfish bitch.) So with nothing on my to-do list and nowhere I had to be, I proceeded to have another 24 hours of "me" time. Really it was the same tune, just a different verse. More TV, movies on Netflix and gaming on the computer. I didn't even get out of my pajamas all day Saturday!! I was completely and utterly self indulgent. The best part? I didn't even feel guilty about it. (Ok, ok. I *may* have felt a smidgen of guilt. But I squashed it like a bug.)

What, you may be asking, were my big life revelations? Well, let me tell you.

     1. My ass is too heavy and my bones too old to sit/lay in a recliner for 36 hours straight.

     2. I eat like a teenager when there isn't anyone else here for me to feed. (For breakfast Saturday morning, I ate a s'more. A graham cracker, a little Hershey bar and a microwaved marshmallow. It was yummy!)

     3. Facebook games (ie: Candy Crush, Farm Heroes Saga, Papa Pear, etc.) will suck you in. Seriously. I really believe they are rigged so that you lose a couple of lives but then you win and move on until your lives replenish. I may or may not have played Candy Crush for more than 2 hours. Straight.



So after a purely decadent weekend, Sunday dawned. I took a (much needed) shower, put on makeup and got dressed. An added bonus of having Maddie stay with Grandmother is that she (Grandmother, not Maddie) cooks a huge meal on Sunday afternoons. I had a wonderful lunch to top off my grand alone-but-not-lonely weekend. After a round of hugs and goodbyes I finally wrangled her (Maddie, not Grandmother) and all her junk to the car. I thought for sure we'd have a really good day since we hadn't been in each others' pockets and on each others' nerves all weekend. Well, I was wrong. Not just wrong, but WRONG. She apparently became possessed by the grouchiest of demons while she was away. Geez she was hateful. At one point Sunday evening I had to send her to her room to keep from killing her. After a peaceful and quiet couple of days boy was I ever paying for it now.

Was it worth it? I wondered to myself. Yep, because she was so tired from playing all weekend that she was in bed by 9:00. And, of course, I wasn't too far behind her considering the last time I slept was a fitful 4 hours Thursday night.

I Wish I Had A Good Excuse.....

I've been MIA for a couple of weeks. I wish I could say it was because I was volunteering at a soup kitchen or rocking baby orphans, but alas, I can not. In truth, I've just been kinda lazy. Also, Candy Crush is Satan's whore mistress and I've been her bitch. I swore, swore, that I wasn't going to get started on that. Well, as they say about good intentions... I figured out how they suck you in. So, you're stuck on a level. For like, a week. You spend your 5 lives trying to beat it. You get friends to send you more lives to try and beat it. Sadly, you can't beat it. You think to yourself, "Ok. I'm gonna give this one more go. If I don't beat this <bleeping> level (63, anyone? Or 79??) this time, I'm done with this stupid ass game." And so, the Candy Crush gods hear your epithet and grant you access to the next level.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

But, oh, how satisfying is it to pass a level in one try? Or to beat one of your friends' score? Or even better,  to pass one of your friends on a level? C'mon... You know you are all smug thinking, "Well, gosh. That level wasn't that hard. Tee hee. Joe Schmo is just a lousy player if he can't beat level 327 by now!"

Anyway.... that's where I've been. I promise to not be so sporadic in the futu... Gotta go. My lives are renewed.